Happy 2018 loves!
I don't know about you, but I am huge on taking time to reflect on the past year, as well as setting goals and resolutions for the coming year. There is something so refreshing about seeing God's grace and kindness in the victories and movement over a calendar year, while being sobered at the reality that the next year requires determination, reliance and purpose in order to be fruitful.
Back in 2011, I started taking time on New Years Day to write out my recap from the previous year, and lay out my goals and desires for the year ahead. Its been a short and concise way to keep track of all the milestones that have happened as time moves forward.
Looking back at 2017, I don't know how to sum it up other than the cliche saying that it was "one for the books." In April we bought our first home, and much of our year revolved around that new reality. We moved in with Ian's parents for 8 months, found out we were expecting our second baby, and completed some huge projects and renovations on our house. Although all these things are wonderful, it was not without hardship and a major learning curve. For all our marriage, Ian has worked long shifts, but to balance that, he gets good chunks of time off. When we bought the house, all of Ian's days off went to working on the house. We were stretched to live without the privacy of our own home, and find ways to communicate and grow in love even while living with less time, less sleep, and less energy.
To say it plainly, the first few weeks of living like this were marked by lots of tears, fatigue and confusion. At times, it felt like Ian and I couldn't get on the same page, and we would come together at the end of the day with our wells of energy and emotion completely empty. One Sunday on the way home from church, we set out to talk through how to make this season work. I remember it so vividly, but after sharing what challenges, frustrations and hurts we were having with this new transition, and feeling like things would just be this way until we were back in our own space, Ian turned to me in the car and said so simply "I think we just need to show each other more grace." What a simple, yet wholly true statement.
Up until this point in our relationship when one of us would be working 110%, the other could come alongside and help. But what happens when you both start giving 110 percent? In weakness and exhaustion we had to learn to give when we had nothing left of our own to give. To show kindness, and offer help by God's grace alone. I definitely do not do this perfectly, but I am learning not to be an expectant wife. To hold my plans, feelings and even energy level with an open hand, believing that God will give me strength to live in kindness, wisdom and love, even if my immediate need is not met the way I think it should be.
It would have been so easy to look at the situation at hand and say "this is just going to be hard, but things will get better when we are through this season." Although some things have gotten easier since moving into our house, I really caution anyone against taking this perspective. Life and circumstances will always be changing, and neglecting to take a situation head on can lead to even more struggles later on. Dear friend, do not turn a blind eye to hard lessons waiting for you in your current situation, but instead seek to learn everything you can from them. I preached Galatians 6:9 to myself so often in this season. I love the reminder that says "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."
Taking this perspective helped us SO much, and something I didn't expect happened. Not only did we get on the same page, but Ian and I grew closer and our relationship thrived in ways it hadn't before. By Gods grace this new pressure grew us leaps and bounds in our communication. We had conversations that helped us forge a more clear vision for our growing family, and set down desires for what we want and need to teach our children as they grow, both in word and deed. I know life with two little ones while working on a house will be a blur, and kind of crazy, but I really feel a sense of peace moving into these new challenges. Not because I have "arrived" or I know how every day ahead will go, but because I have seen God's faithfulness so tangibly these past few months. I am so comforted by the truth of his promises, and how he has fulfilled them to Ian and I. We have found a refuge in hard times, and hr has been faithful to grow us through each new stage that has come.
So looking ahead to 2018, I am eager to continue to learn to live a life that pours out grace and kindness to my family and all those around. Obviously my most prominent goal is to bring this baby girl earthside, and adjust to life life as a mom of two, and as a family of four. I also have set some fun goals for myself like landscaping our backyard and dabbling into beekeeping! I would love to hear your goals and hopes for 2018 - because after all, we are all in this together. No matter what happens in these next 365 days, I hope we can all remember that there is grace upon grace available to us for every moment. And that alone is a reason to say Happy New Year!
xo, B
I don't know about you, but I am huge on taking time to reflect on the past year, as well as setting goals and resolutions for the coming year. There is something so refreshing about seeing God's grace and kindness in the victories and movement over a calendar year, while being sobered at the reality that the next year requires determination, reliance and purpose in order to be fruitful.
Back in 2011, I started taking time on New Years Day to write out my recap from the previous year, and lay out my goals and desires for the year ahead. Its been a short and concise way to keep track of all the milestones that have happened as time moves forward.
Looking back at 2017, I don't know how to sum it up other than the cliche saying that it was "one for the books." In April we bought our first home, and much of our year revolved around that new reality. We moved in with Ian's parents for 8 months, found out we were expecting our second baby, and completed some huge projects and renovations on our house. Although all these things are wonderful, it was not without hardship and a major learning curve. For all our marriage, Ian has worked long shifts, but to balance that, he gets good chunks of time off. When we bought the house, all of Ian's days off went to working on the house. We were stretched to live without the privacy of our own home, and find ways to communicate and grow in love even while living with less time, less sleep, and less energy.
To say it plainly, the first few weeks of living like this were marked by lots of tears, fatigue and confusion. At times, it felt like Ian and I couldn't get on the same page, and we would come together at the end of the day with our wells of energy and emotion completely empty. One Sunday on the way home from church, we set out to talk through how to make this season work. I remember it so vividly, but after sharing what challenges, frustrations and hurts we were having with this new transition, and feeling like things would just be this way until we were back in our own space, Ian turned to me in the car and said so simply "I think we just need to show each other more grace." What a simple, yet wholly true statement.
Up until this point in our relationship when one of us would be working 110%, the other could come alongside and help. But what happens when you both start giving 110 percent? In weakness and exhaustion we had to learn to give when we had nothing left of our own to give. To show kindness, and offer help by God's grace alone. I definitely do not do this perfectly, but I am learning not to be an expectant wife. To hold my plans, feelings and even energy level with an open hand, believing that God will give me strength to live in kindness, wisdom and love, even if my immediate need is not met the way I think it should be.
It would have been so easy to look at the situation at hand and say "this is just going to be hard, but things will get better when we are through this season." Although some things have gotten easier since moving into our house, I really caution anyone against taking this perspective. Life and circumstances will always be changing, and neglecting to take a situation head on can lead to even more struggles later on. Dear friend, do not turn a blind eye to hard lessons waiting for you in your current situation, but instead seek to learn everything you can from them. I preached Galatians 6:9 to myself so often in this season. I love the reminder that says "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."
Taking this perspective helped us SO much, and something I didn't expect happened. Not only did we get on the same page, but Ian and I grew closer and our relationship thrived in ways it hadn't before. By Gods grace this new pressure grew us leaps and bounds in our communication. We had conversations that helped us forge a more clear vision for our growing family, and set down desires for what we want and need to teach our children as they grow, both in word and deed. I know life with two little ones while working on a house will be a blur, and kind of crazy, but I really feel a sense of peace moving into these new challenges. Not because I have "arrived" or I know how every day ahead will go, but because I have seen God's faithfulness so tangibly these past few months. I am so comforted by the truth of his promises, and how he has fulfilled them to Ian and I. We have found a refuge in hard times, and hr has been faithful to grow us through each new stage that has come.
So looking ahead to 2018, I am eager to continue to learn to live a life that pours out grace and kindness to my family and all those around. Obviously my most prominent goal is to bring this baby girl earthside, and adjust to life life as a mom of two, and as a family of four. I also have set some fun goals for myself like landscaping our backyard and dabbling into beekeeping! I would love to hear your goals and hopes for 2018 - because after all, we are all in this together. No matter what happens in these next 365 days, I hope we can all remember that there is grace upon grace available to us for every moment. And that alone is a reason to say Happy New Year!
xo, B
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