Recently, I have been thinking and struggling a lot about what church involvement looks like when kid(s) are in the picture. I have had a few conversations with other mamas who share this struggle, so I hope my sharing will provide some semblance of solidarity and encouragement to anyone else who may have found themselves in the same boat.
Scripture is not silent about believers thriving in the church. The verse on this issue that comes to mind quickly is Hebrews 10:25, which says. "not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." Going to church obviously isn't optional, but if I am being honest, for me personally it was quite a struggle for a season. We opted not to put Logan in nursery for the first year of his life, and try to work on having him sit with us in the service. This actually went really well, but he is SUCH a vocal baby that it became really difficult to keep him quiet, He just didn't understand that the preacher was actually not trying to have a lively conversation with him. When he would start chirping a lot, one of us would sit on the patio to listen to the sermon with him, but this just ended up leaving us feeling very disconnected. We were still attending the college age group where we met. Mid week events were late, and with Ian working Fridays it was rare for us to make it to bible study downtown at 7:30 pm. Some families can make this kind of schedule work, and I applaud them!
While Scripture is very loud about not falling away from corporate worship, it is quite silent about what this looks like. I really wonder what church and life looked like for women in the early church. Culture changes with time and location, and there are a myriad of factors that determine what this aspect of their lives looks like practically. I asked my parents-in-love what this looked like for them (they had four kids in five years!), and they said when their kids were little they did what worked. Sometimes that meant going to one service, and other times it looked like going to both. They made it work for them and their family, while still being faithful to come hear teaching and fellowship with others. This helped me lay aside the really high (and probably legalistic) expectations to do it all. To have perfect hair, the perfect outfit, arrive super early with a perfectly well behaved child, listen to the sermon and take notes and still have energy to go to lunch with friends afterwards. There will be seasons for this (maybe when kids can feed or dress themselves?), but right now we are deep in the "making it work" season. Going to church on my own with Logan isn't as daunting as I made it up to be in my mind, once we made a realistic plan. Recently we made the switch to the young marrieds and family group, and after just one week we knew it was the right fit for us. We are going to start putting Logan in the nursery, and I think he will really enjoy it. He is ready for this switch, and I know its the right thing to do at this point.
I honestly felt so unholy for struggling with this. If you have felt this way, let me assure you, YOU are not alone. Every family goes through a season of figuring out what life looks like for them, and even if all you see is the put together picture, It's hard and can be really discouraging. But do not lose heart! God will never give us a command He can not equip us to follow. Many of your peers are or have gone through a similar period of adjustment, and probably have some realistic advice to offer in encouragement. I heard a sermon series once where our pastor said that the solution for every spiritual struggle is union with Christ. Ephesians 1 is a great passage of encouragement to this end. Being unified with Christ is deeply tied to being his church. Verse 23 says that the church "is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all." What an honor to be so deeply rooted with Christ. Fanning the flame of love for Christ and being reminded of our place as his bride, the church, gives the best motivation when things get hard or seem like a constant uphill battle.
In the end I had to practically live out what I knew - that it is so necessary to stay faithful to Scriptutre, and in the long run consistency will be more of a blessing to my children than nap time.
XO, B
Scripture is not silent about believers thriving in the church. The verse on this issue that comes to mind quickly is Hebrews 10:25, which says. "not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." Going to church obviously isn't optional, but if I am being honest, for me personally it was quite a struggle for a season. We opted not to put Logan in nursery for the first year of his life, and try to work on having him sit with us in the service. This actually went really well, but he is SUCH a vocal baby that it became really difficult to keep him quiet, He just didn't understand that the preacher was actually not trying to have a lively conversation with him. When he would start chirping a lot, one of us would sit on the patio to listen to the sermon with him, but this just ended up leaving us feeling very disconnected. We were still attending the college age group where we met. Mid week events were late, and with Ian working Fridays it was rare for us to make it to bible study downtown at 7:30 pm. Some families can make this kind of schedule work, and I applaud them!
While Scripture is very loud about not falling away from corporate worship, it is quite silent about what this looks like. I really wonder what church and life looked like for women in the early church. Culture changes with time and location, and there are a myriad of factors that determine what this aspect of their lives looks like practically. I asked my parents-in-love what this looked like for them (they had four kids in five years!), and they said when their kids were little they did what worked. Sometimes that meant going to one service, and other times it looked like going to both. They made it work for them and their family, while still being faithful to come hear teaching and fellowship with others. This helped me lay aside the really high (and probably legalistic) expectations to do it all. To have perfect hair, the perfect outfit, arrive super early with a perfectly well behaved child, listen to the sermon and take notes and still have energy to go to lunch with friends afterwards. There will be seasons for this (maybe when kids can feed or dress themselves?), but right now we are deep in the "making it work" season. Going to church on my own with Logan isn't as daunting as I made it up to be in my mind, once we made a realistic plan. Recently we made the switch to the young marrieds and family group, and after just one week we knew it was the right fit for us. We are going to start putting Logan in the nursery, and I think he will really enjoy it. He is ready for this switch, and I know its the right thing to do at this point.
I honestly felt so unholy for struggling with this. If you have felt this way, let me assure you, YOU are not alone. Every family goes through a season of figuring out what life looks like for them, and even if all you see is the put together picture, It's hard and can be really discouraging. But do not lose heart! God will never give us a command He can not equip us to follow. Many of your peers are or have gone through a similar period of adjustment, and probably have some realistic advice to offer in encouragement. I heard a sermon series once where our pastor said that the solution for every spiritual struggle is union with Christ. Ephesians 1 is a great passage of encouragement to this end. Being unified with Christ is deeply tied to being his church. Verse 23 says that the church "is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all." What an honor to be so deeply rooted with Christ. Fanning the flame of love for Christ and being reminded of our place as his bride, the church, gives the best motivation when things get hard or seem like a constant uphill battle.
In the end I had to practically live out what I knew - that it is so necessary to stay faithful to Scriptutre, and in the long run consistency will be more of a blessing to my children than nap time.
XO, B
Post a Comment