In the past I have tried to do very formal and structured blog posts, which has been so fun and I love thinking through what I write and studying it as well; however, I often avoid posting because I don't have the time it takes to form a perfect post about what I was meditating on or questioning in a fleeting moment. So from now on I want to add some quick posts that are about thoughts I chew on throughout the day- or small quotes I hear that are helpful. For me, it's usually the small moments that have the greatest impact on my day. Anyway, that's just a preface because I thought it fits but back to the main reason I came to write (or type..:)
This morning at church I sat outside with Logan, feeding him some cauliflower before we headed into the service, which had already started (#momlife). There were two jr. high age boys at a table next to us, talking, and one was talking himself up into doing a backflip (and thus fulfilling all your jr. high boy stereotypes in one sentence, ha!). After a few bites, Logan was intently watching them, so interested in their quick movements, fast words, and faces. I love watching him examine the world around him. His big brown eyes grow wide with amusement, and he has this little smile that he gives, and I am pretty sure he is trying to bait people in to giving him one back, unaware that sometimes they don't even notice him.
Ever since having Logan I've been awakened to a whole new world of awareness of others. "What is my baby watching?" and "who is looking at my baby?" Are the kinds of questions that cross my mind frequently while out in public. These boys were unaware of Logan's deep examination of them. Watching this, it dawned on me that these boys had no idea that they were teaching someone. My baby (and maybe other babies) are watching what they do and learning about life. About how little boys act and what they do. Obviously Logan was probably more stimulated by the movements or sounds, but even if I don't see it, he is taking in things that will shape how he views the world and people.
I was humbled to be reminded of the fact that there are people who watch me, and are being taught. By my actions alone I am informing them of things I value, what is normal to me, acceptable to me, and what I reject. This is scary because I am sinful and so often rely on "explination" to make sure others understand my intentions, feelings, etc. When I pull my phone out to check an incoming text during a conversation, I'm teaching someone that it's okay to have your attentions divided. What I wear teaches someone about my priorities, and how I value the event I am attending. It is easy for me to look to others and always seek something to learn. Simple lessons of what to do or what not to do were taught to me just by watching strangers or friends life life.
Most of the time we probably don't notice who is watching us, and we definitely aren't told at the end of the day how our actions shaped those around us. I was sobered by this and reminded to dwell on and live out Ephesians 5:15-16 which says "Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil." We are shaping the world for little people who watch us, just as we are constantly learning and being shaped by others.
Most of the time we probably don't notice who is watching us, and we definitely aren't told at the end of the day how our actions shaped those around us. I was sobered by this and reminded to dwell on and live out Ephesians 5:15-16 which says "Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil." We are shaping the world for little people who watch us, just as we are constantly learning and being shaped by others.
Some questions that I have been pondering are:
• what am I teaching others when they see me?
• am I guarding my heart and mind as to what I allow to shape and teach me?
• how can I pursue excellence in all I do and show others?
This little moment in my day was very thought provoking, and I hope it spurs you on to love and good works!
XO, B
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